31/8/06

// feeling :: full
// prayer for :: Daniel

Wellz. Today was . . . relatively fun haha. Went to have lunch at Yoshinoya with Dehua first at Bugis before walkin over to the library near Bugis Junction. We had a hard time finding the place -.-

- Saw Chih Chiang while walking. He recognized me! -

Yeah then we walked ard the library first, trying to find the study area until Shumei and Shawn came. Yeah then Dehua and I read Herman comics [I love it] while Shumei went to get her art research books. Then we parted ways; Dehua and I went to Bras Basah to get his guitar cleaners [the drums there were so nice :'( ] while Shumei and Shawn took the bus to Queenstown.

It was drizzling quite heavily, and thank God Dehua and I got a cab before it really started coming down. So we went in and played pool for about an hour and a half. I played with Shawn one-on-one and guess what...I won lol! I'm surprised =/

Then played with Dehua =.= I nearly won la cuz his friends came in and he was distracted. But haiz he overtook me in a split second. There goes my 'face'. But then again, I'm not that good a pool-er. I suck >.<

Saw Melissa Tan from Fairfield...Wah sian -.- spoil my mood.

After that went to Queenstown Library to do our work, even though we didnt really accomplish anything =.= But saw Lanz though hehe.

Yeap, then went to Tiong cuz I wanted to pierce my ear and get the two-hole earring thing, but cant find. So pierced my ear only. It doesnt hurt at all now, but thats bad news cuz its really gonna smart tomorrow >.<

Daniel's going to Indonesia on the 5th, which is next Tuesday, so I'm gonna have lunch with him on Monday. Sianz. Indonesia's a third-world country [isit? I think so nia] and yeah I'm gettin worried for them la.

Luckily I'm nt with Daniel or wad or I'd have gone crazy with worry. My dad going to a dangerous place was bad enough. I juz hope nothing will happen to them lar....May God's blessing be upon them...

Not going out tmr. Juz wanna stay home...

31/8/06

// feeling :: hungry
// prayer for :: myself

Father, my Salvation,
You see my spirit laid bare;
My purpose, my new hope found,
A new covenant we share.

Now I've found a new Dad,
Another friend to run to;
I'm reborn in my soul,
Among the lies You were true.

I've found His precious crown,
Given for the sake of man;
He tried to convince us,
If only all could understand.

But I believe in Him,
My future with Him restored!
I thank Him once again,
For all the love and grace poured.

Blessed is He who reigns,
Gave His blood for no other;
Jesus the Son of God,
His love endures forever!

30/8/06

// feeling :: blocked
// prayer for :: tmr's weather

I know its my second entry, but I'm gonna make it short...Juz got a few things I wanna pen down.

I watched The Break-Up on DVD yesterday. I didnt really like it because the storyline's a little weird, but that didnt stop me from learning something from it.

Well, basically the movie's about this couple who used to be very close and seemingly "unbreakable", but along comes their usual "you dont even do a small thing for me" arguement, which is the last straw, thus tearing them apart.

Yeah the post-breakup period in the movie was horrible: the girl thinks the guy doesnt treasure her, and the guy thinks she's asking for too much. And in the end, when the guy finally realises how much the girl means to him, she's already forgotten him.

The movie kind of made the saying "you dont realise what you've got till its gone" come alive.

I dont need to have a partner to understand and learn something from that movie. I've got a taste of how it feels like losing someone. Sure, it may not be as "painful" as what other people go through, but you know, I'm just glad I learnt something, in terms of having someone in your life, even though its just through a made-up movie.

This is enough blabber for a day.

30/8/06

// feeling :: bored
// prayer for ::

Spent the whole day lazin ard. Supposed to go school today for a couple of hours but pon-ed =.= yeah then juz hung ard the house all day. Talk on msn, play Maple with Lamb and Dehua haha..

Tmr am going to Bugis Library to study, then go play pool...Heeheez..With Dehua, Shumei and Shawn. Ahh..

Sian. I'm not going to cut hair alr. On Sat or some other day then go..Duno whether gonna pierce ear either. I'm afraid its not season yet when school reopens.

Kkz gotta go. Tah.

28/8/06

// feeling :: sick
// prayer for :: "him" [I feel stupid]

If there weren't prelims tmr, I wouldnt bother going to school.

I just watched half of Constantine. Then I decided to stop. Its a very demonic show..And I kept thinking about God and all that during the show.

I hope that I will miraculously get well tmr morning. I wont be able to concentrate well in exam like this. What a setback. What a discouragement.

But you know what? The joy of the Lord is my strength.

But I still need prayer from you guys. haha.

28/8/06

// feeling :: a little bit upset
// prayer for :: tmr's exams

I had school, then cell group meeting. Some idiot kept spraying cologne and it irritated my nose so much that I couldnt stop sneezing the entire day. Sigh so school was ok la...

Then I invited Gab n Shumei for cell meeting...I tot everyone had to go but it turned out that it was meant for those who didnt go for the previous ones. But anyway we arrived at the place half an hour earlier, then the cgm was pushed back by an hour.

So we played la at the playground. Swings...Yeah. It was fun. Took vids and photos..was fun.

Yeah then Bro Alvin came in the place of Sis Cat, and he talked about P&W again and all that. But this time it reached out to me more...So I guess there was a reason I felt prompted to go.

After that, Shumei had to reach home la so I sponsored her cab again =.= so now I cant go out on Thursday with Dehua. Omg.

I duno whether to keep inviting her sia. I cant afford her cab fares every week due to time constraint -.- but at the same time I still want her to go for church events la..Cuz she doesnt go for her own church, FCBC...

I dun mind payin for the sake of her knowing God better but the only reason why I'm sore about it is because I'm not a bank or ATM. If I have the money and I can afford it then sure, no problem. Duno sia. How come its so hard just to bring my friends to church without any strings attached.

Geez well thank God no more school la..

Omg I forgot I needa go cut hair tmr! *sheesh*

And guys, my prelims are tomorrow. English paper 1 and chinese paper 1. Pls pray for me ya...

sunday 27/8/06

// feeling :: content
// prayer for :: Lamb's likely promotion; Mike

I had a great time today.

Supposed to go to Mike's house in the morning to watch the service, but I woke up in the morning regretting my choice. I felt that I would rather go for the actual service. Just when I was all ready to leave the house, Lamb called me, telling me that there was a change in plans and that Mike couldnt open up his house. So we went to CHC instead. Lolz. Praise the Lord.

Yup and it was great. It was a sermon abt . . . Erm the three-letter S-word hahaha..I guess maybe I'm still not open to hearing such explicit elaboration about it yet. But I learnt a lot la.

After that, went to Belle's club at Kovan, where I used to go all the time when I was sec 2 or 3. Cant remember. Yeah. There was this spider web thing near the club, and Mike and Lamb went to climb it..haha Belle and I video-ed it. Then I went to climb too. I was on the phone and climbing at the same time -.- but usin the headset. It was fun, and it was the first time I mustered enough courage to last till the top. I used to be so afraid of heights.

We went to eat at Jumbo Restaurant first and all that. Had dim sum lolz..So we went to pool, and we had great fun laughing and joking and all that. Laughed like crazy, over stupid things like sinking the white ball and all that...Mostly it was about Mike la haha poor thing he was so targetted by me.

Then we went to the auditorium to watch Sahara I think. Yup. Matthew McCaughey..Or smth liddat. I like him haha. His movies are always nice.

After that we headed for home. Mike, Lamb and I took the bus together, and we talked about stuff..Lamb and I alighted at Paya Lebar station, and I reached home around 7:45 I think.

During the movie I was kinda sian diao alr. I dont know the reason either. I tend to be like that some times, which is not good. Once I got soooo stoned that my mom wanted to send me to test for drugs.

I wanna go cut my hair next week at Pivot Point. $8 for wash and cut! Cheap right ~ well my mom's a VIP there haha..

I'm so tired haiz. But I still got homework and all that. I had wanted to watch Constantine la but I think I shouldn't...Its alr kinda late. Sianz.! Physics, here I come!

zai wo xin li, zui ai de ren jiu shi ni.

saturday 26/7/06

// feeling :: fulfilled; humbled
// prayer for :: tmr's service

Well, first, I met Shumei at Tiong station, because we were supposed to go out and celebrate her birthday. She had invited her new friend along, also called Michelle -.- hahaha. Too bad she didnt come for service..If not its gonna be so weird haha there will be 4 Michelles that came to W271..But only one stayed on and its me! Muahahah..

Okay den we made our way to City Hall, where we met Gab and Cailing..Then walked over to Marina Square, where we spent quite some time looking for Yoshinoya..haha..Gab and I had to study the map of the place so closely.

Yeah lunch was good. I had the salmon rice ^_^ salmon is nice. Ya after that went to walk ard, then Cailing wanted to play Initial D in the arcade, so we walked to Suntect City. Lolz. Always go that place -.- Go until sian alr.

Yeah, then I played my fave game: Time Crisis. Yeah, then it was time to take a bus to Dhoby Ghaut station. We were so early ~ Yeah then something cropped up for Shumei so she left. Then Gab got some problem...So I juz spent some time talking to her about it. The people from W229 and W271 went first. Then I walked over to Fort Canning Park by myself.

I found it by faith [praise the Lord!] but I couldnt find them. I was walking and walking ard the park for duno how long. And thank God I found Wei Keong wandering ard there too haha. So we walked together and tried so hard to find them. I convinced him to trust my instincts but always ended up in the wrong way =.= my gut feeling sucks.

We couldnt reach anyone and it was really scary la. Thank God Wei Keong was there, if not I think I would have gotten lost inside for good. Finally got through to Isabelle, and the meeting was over. So we met them at Dhoby Ghaut station and we were soaked to the skin with sweat. Thank God for air-conditioned MRT trains =)

Yup, then we met Gab and Cailing at Expo station, and Wei Keong waited for Yisheng, because I couldnt leave Gab and Cailing. Yeah. P&W was good, although I had to learn some old songs of CHC. After that I had to leave service, to pay for Shumei's cab fare and bring her and her friend to the hall.

I waited for so long, and the fare ended up at $30. By the time we got to the hall, we couldnt get to our seats, because Pst had alr started preaching, so we had to stand at the back. I felt bad la, because Shumei and her friend were like first-timers here, and we had to stand for the service. But one thing good about it: there was a lot of space for P&W haha.

Yup then we went to meet W271 for the briefing. Lolz, because Sis Cat wanted to wait for Belle and Mike to come back first [they went to get Shumei's birthday present], she stalled the briefing like crazy. Hahah, it was so funny. She kept talking about redundant stuff la and it was hilarious. Then we sang a birthday song for her.

After that Shumei, her friend Shaun and Yisheng went back first. Then Mike, Lamb, Belle, Wei Keong, Dejin and I went to Foyer 3. MLBM [Mike, Lamb, Belle and I] went to get hotdogs haha. Yup. And Lamb bought for me Milo Dinosaur lolz. Nice nice~

Yup then went home. Was sending each other things via Bluetooth. Yeah then Lamb sent me home and here I am.

Not going for service tmr cuz Belle and I are kinda tired...But maybe go play pool after that HAHA. But I feel bad la..No energy to go for service but can go play pool.

Anw my dad gave me $66 today, because it had no change. It was supposed to last me for about a month. Then I spent $40: ten on lunch and thirty on cab fare. I was hurtin la because the money's gone so fast. So I told my dad how much I spent today and how.

And the surprising thing was, he was glad I spent it on the cab fare. He said as long as it got my friend to church, everything is fine, and I dont need to worry about not having enough money. I wish I could think and look at things the way he does.

Well today was great. I enjoyed myself so much.

25/8/06

// feeling :: sian
// prayer for :: yisheng and my dad

Yisheng has a spinal problem. I'm not even gonna start blaming soccer. I realised that its not the game; but the people that cause themselves to be injured.

So W271 had cell group meeting today. It was great, cuz Sis Cat and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to connect her laptop to the stereo lol..In the end we did it, with the help of Wei Keong! Lol praise the Lord.

Wendy got a new phone too, the N73. Lol. Same as Mike's. So cool, Lamb and I got same phones, and so do Mike and Wendy. All new too.

I juz spent some time dl-ing songs using my dad's computer into my phone. Lolz...Almost no more memory left. O well.

My dad talked to me about his going overseas. He said that his in-charge said that his family (us) were a rare find. Because we're selfless enough to let him leave. And that made me think. If I could help it, I wont allow him to go. I would give a flat no. Then you know, no matter how selfless you are, you would still feel a bit sore about your close family member leaving for goodness knows how long.

My mom is the noble one. When she found out that my dad was going, she was excited. She was excited that he was doing something for his country, for their country, and for God. I wish I could think like her. I keep focusing on how much I miss him.

Even now, when he hasnt left, it feels like he's gone. He's hardly around, and even less so when we need him. But I guess...I cant ask for more. He's really the best dad I could ever have. I juz pray that God will give me the power and the comfort to go through those years in peace.

24/8/06

// feeling :: kinda sad
// prayer for :: my dad

My dad got me the Sony Ericsson K800i yesterday night. I love it...But one downer yesterday..Was that he agreed to go to East Timor.

He's leaving in a couple of days or weeks. I've no idea how much I'll miss him.

Went for dental today. I have to wear rubber bands again. And its so awful! It cuts the corner of my mouth straight and its really ugly. Good grief -.- I hate this...But luckily its not painful, or I'd be in a reaaaally lousy mood now.

I wish my dad wasn't going. I wish they didn't approch him. I wish God would send someone else.

22/8/06

// feeling :: extremely sad
// prayer for :: my father

My dad came to talk to me when I was on the phone. He said...that he was asked to go back to East Timor again.

I can't imagine how I would feel - how my Mom would feel - if he were to accept it.

He has a choice. But its an honor to him as an ex-commandant. It would be selfish if he would reject it for us.

I would hate to see him leave. Danielle was crying just now. I think maybe its because my father told her he was leaving too. One year in 2003 was enough for us and my mom. Now if he accepts, he'll go for one year or more.

I remember when he last went. I got used to not having a father. It was horrible. I got so used to it that when he came back, I took it as if he was still overseas, and wished he stayed there. Now I dont want him to go because I'm afraid that would happen again.

I wish they never approached him. How much would my Mom miss him?.. One year that time was almost unbearable for her. She came to us almost every night saying she missed him. Now that I'm closer to him, I dont want to imagine how much I'd miss him each night too.

It feels as if he's agreed to go. He still has a choice. But I can tell he wants to go. I'll miss him so much if he does.

22/8/06

// feeling :: moody
// prayer for :: my grandma

My grandma went for operation today. I hope she's fine ~

I just heard from Shumei that she's gonna save up $66 to buy couple rings at CoupleLab with her boyfriend. Can save up $66 to buy ring but cant return me $1 a day to pay off the $80 she owes me and my mother for the past 3 months. What she has paid now is what she should have paid in a week.

I don't know if I'm getting the phone today. My parents arent home yet and all that. Anyway today was english oral. I think I did pretty OK, even though I got rather tongue-tied. But she helped me along the way so ya lolz..

I'm hungry. I'm gonna go watch some shows and go eat. Seeya..

21/8/06

// feeling :: bored.
// prayer for :: my oral tomorrow

Prayer meeting was cancelled today but no one informed me. I was waitin for so long in the art room =.= then I just decided to concentrate on my art. Lolz. I wanted to post some pics of it here but the cord doesnt seem to be working...Maybe I'll do them another time.

Hmph Lamb got his phone already. Lolz. I'm also not sure if my parents are getting it..They always say OK, OK but they'll somehow forget or wad...But I hope this time they mean it or I'll be really disappointed. It would be cool to have the same phone as Lamb ...

Feel so tired. I'm really nervous for my oral tomorrow. Gab had hers today, and she said it was hard...Gosh I'm so nervous...I do hope I'm blessed with a topic I know how to talk about.

So tired~!

sunday - 20/8/06

// feeling :: truly blessed
// prayer for :: My grandma

I am blessed in these ways today:

1. My grandmother is out of critical danger!
2. I have a new bracelet that I had always wanted.
3. God listened to me through Belle about uneasiness I've had for quite a long time.
4. My father decided to get me Sony Ericsson K800i on Tuesday.
5. My parents allowed me to get baptized.
6. There is going to be a prayer meeting with Ms Ong, Gab and Shumei in school tomorrow, after so many months of no meetings.
7. I had an opportunity of a heart-to-heart talk with my parents about my spiritual life and they gave me very useful advice.
8. My mom agreed to buy Polo Tees for me.


As you can see, I am truly blessed by God. When He blesses His children, He isn't a stingy or a frugal God. He is a GENEROUS God. He blesses in abundance.


Today, Belle, Ken, Joel, Joel's mum, Meiling and I went to listen to Rev. Bernard speak again. He is so anointed by God! I was so in awe of him. And that made me realise how prosperous God can make you. Rev. Bernard's words sank into my heart like hot water on snow. Man, he's just awesome. And God is just marvelous.

After service, we wanted to go eat..Lol at KFC! We: Lamb, Ken, Mike, Belle and I. We went to Parkway Parade so it'd be more convenient for Ken to go off for his tuition at 3:30. Yeah, we had a lot of fun there, after which we went handphone shopping. Lol. Mike and Lamb were practically drooling all over the new K800i. Then I took the brouchure, and decided to try my luck in convincing my parents that that phone is good. In the end it worked haha. But only because my dad was there lol.

Wellz..Then Mike left after a long time of window shopping..We spent a lot of time in MPH bookshop haha.. Hmm so the remaining of us took bus together..I went with Belle to her place where we talked and she brought me to the busstop. Lamb took all the way to Clementi.

Yup, then I came home, showed the brochure to my parents and talked with them for awhile.

Its amazing how everything overlapped today. Blessing after blessing just started rolling in. But my greatest blessing...is to be a child of God, amen?

It's going to be a long day tomorrow. I pray for good rest tonight..And that Gab won't come back too late -.-

19/8/06

// feeling :: thankful; renewed!
// prayer for :: tmr's service

Today was awesome, for a whole lot of reasons. First, I finally sat with Belle and Mike =/ The past few weeks I've been sitting apart from them. Secondly, the praise and worship was great. Thirdly, Rev. A. R. Bernard was speaking. Fourthly, I'm renewed.

Rev. Bernard is excellent. I mean, his sermons are so powerful, although you gotta listen carefully to what he's saying or you'd get lost.

I saw a new side of Sis Cat today and Friday night..I always looked at her with fear; like she's my principal or something. But now I've seen her Big Sister, Spiritual Supporter side. Kind of like your 'watcher'.

God spoke to me today, at the last part of the sermon. Rev. Bernard was talking about people who made mistakes and strayed from God's path for us, and people who knew it was wrong but still chose to walk that path. I'm the latter. The impact of those words came so strong. I felt the mercy of God; the power of the Holy Spirit. Then I just held Isabelle's hand. I hope Mike wasn't jealous =/

I had the unexpected courage to confess my sins to Sis Cat. And surprisingly, she empathized with me. And actually, she had known since the time I committed it! Lol. But she wasn't surprised or what. She expected it, actually. Because she understands that we as humans, aren't perfect. Yeah Baby I'm so glad I overcame it! And the best thing of all? I'M BACK ON TRACK WITH CHRIST. Hallelujah.

18/8/06

// feeling :: bored
// prayer for :: tmr's service

I suddenly dont know what to talk about. Well, my teachers didnt allow me to drop chinese even though my mom and I wanted to. They say its up to me but at the same time they refuse to hear anything about me dropping. Ironic, you know?

But I dont care anymore. Since they want me to retake, I'll retake. She submitted my name in today anyway.

There's service tonight at 8pm. Its kinda late so I'm not going. I'm going on Saturday and most likely on Sunday. See how.

There's no art tomorrow. I should be grateful for that. Yep. Finally a Saturday when I dont have to beg to be let off in order to be on time for church.

I've no idea what I'm gonna do in the next four hours.

thursday - 17/8/06

// feeling :: satiated
// prayer for :: tmr night's service

Today is not my day =.= my internet connection went bonkers in my usual com..I'd wanted Fish n Chips for dinner but the stall closed down..I wanted Laksa but sold out..So I settled for ban mian which was nice..Lolz..

In two hours, I'd completed 3 chapters of Physics revision lolz..Quick, congratulate me lolz..Oh, and I listened to Belle and my mom and decided not to retake Chinese. The teacher isnt very interested in teaching me either; she focuses on the bright students. *sheesh*

Day before yesterday went for prayer meeting..Yesterday I had a bad day...

I wanted to drop chinese..I was thinkin abt it. When I went to consult Ms Thio, she didnt allow me to drop unless I had a letter from my mom..She said that a lot of teachers had been complaining about me because I'm not studying and all that. She also said that Aaron is my source of distraction because of our "relations". Pls la, cant a guy be good friends with a girl? Cant they be good friends?

Sigh. She kept insisting that we were together, and that we were influencing each others' decisions. I decide for myself can? Gd grief. My form teacher..N you dun trust me words. The thing I hate most is to be misunderstood. Seriously. I got so pissed that I juz kept silent the entire day. I never felt like that since the day I cut out Bryan.

I talked to my mom about Chinese 'O's and she said no to retaking. Yeah, I guess thats that. I'm glad to forget all about Chinese. Even if I'd wanted to do well, like I did in the last few days, my chinese teacher has the mentality that my attitude in studying sucks.

But I guess everything must be true, since so many teachers commented on my "fire" to do well..Mr Pang, my chinese teacher last yr was shocked to see my result. Since the day the results came out, I dont get rest from Ms Thio..Sigh. But I've made up my mind to do well. I guess the reason they say such things is because they hope that they can "wake me up".

I do hope I have enough time to change now.

14/8/06

// feeling :: sad
// prayer for :: tmr's prayer meeting

Signed the papers needed for retake of Chinese 'O's..Got reprimanded by my form teacher again in Chemistry class because I'm really falling behind everyone in almost every subject. She has been focusing on my last yr's results and stuff like that..Said I was really slack this yr..I guess I am..'N' levels are way different from 'O's..

I watched Family Stone on DVD with my sister just now. Wonderful story..Wonderful twist.

One thing I hate about movies..Is that they remind me of the fact I'm single. I know its kinda stupid, but these feelings just come. I dont know why and how, but they just do. I guess its normal to feel lonely at this time but I thought I would've gotten used to it by now. Well, I'm doing pretty ok by myself..

I've realised that I'm actually very lucky, very blessed. I have a wonderful home and even though I dont have much in material things, I have so much more in the emotional and spiritual things. I have my parents' love and support, and I have my faith in Jesus.

I've seen the change in my personality. I used to whine, complain and pout if my sister is getting something I dont have. But since I've gotten so much closer to God, I realised those things arent even a little bit significant for me to grow as a person. Although I do have a lot of rough edges I am embarrassed about =/

I gotta learn how to keep my focus on God..Right now..thats all I'm concerned about.

I kept thinking about Joel and Bryan these few days. I just dont feel right doing these things to Bryan without him understanding what it is about...But who am I to argue with Sis Cat's words..And yup, he still loves Minger.

13/8/06

// feeling :: hungry
// prayer for :: Joel

God had given me a lot of things to think about these few days. More and more complications start to roll in.

This morning I met Belle and Mike for Sunday Service. Lolz the sermon was good although I started feeling left out again cuz I wasnt with someone, as in, in a relationship. Haha but o well my time will come.

Supposed to have lunch with Daniel after that but something cropped up for him. So Mike, Belle and I went to New York New York at CityLink. I didnt eat cuz somehow I lost my appetite. Then Lamb came with some food frm Old Chang Kee so I kop-ed a bit from him haha..

After that we went to Suntec City. Lamb and I shared a Cola Slurpee..Mmm nice lolz I've been wanting to buy it for a long time but I duno why I'm so ngeow and stringent with my cash these few days.

Yeah then we walked ard..Bumped into Michael Wee..Belle and my ex-teacher from Sec 2. Ya then we hung ard Sans Bookshop for awhile before going off..Mike and Belle took a cab to Queensway while Lamb sent me home by bus...

We saw Anklesocks at my void deck. Grr it wasnt afraid of Lamb but it always seemed to run away from me. Maybe its the "safe - I wont hurt you" aura that Lamb has haha.

Thought about Bryan. I wonder how come we dont bump into each other since we're in the same church..Maybe God wants to separate us =.=

Okie I gotta go .. My KFC is here wahahha..

My first Love, forever You will be ...

12/8/06

// feeling :: unsettled
// prayer for :: tmr's service

The moment I came back..I was greeted by a Justice Bao successor in my room. Apparently, my sister assumed I was still going for the PlanetShakers concert, but I thought I'd made it clear I wont be able to leave CHC service just for the concert. She's been blowing hot and cold lately.

Today I had art. Suddenly Mdm Lim said I cant leave at 2 because we didnt have a lot of time left to finish our pieces in time for Prelims. So I couldnt leave until 3.. But I managed to meet Yisheng at 345 at Tiong station where we went to Expo tgt...

Went for service but the turnout for our cell group was really bad. Almost half the cell wasnt there. But nonetheless the service was great! It was a lesson on The Wife in the Marriage Series. It helped a lot..It helped me to understand the role of a wife in God's eyes.

Tmr's gonna be better. So I'm gg..haha.

After service, we were supposed to go home. But Mike and Belle convinced me to go to Parkway Parade with them for dinner at Fish 'N' Co. Lamb joined us too ~


Something happened. I'm gonna stop here.

friday - 11/8/06

// feeling :: so-so
// prayer for :: tmr's CHC service and Planetshakers concert

Oo..I went for dinner with Gab juz nw..At the coffeeshop near my hse. Then we went to Tiong to walk walk lolz..Went to Comic Connection. I found so many nice comics and posters . . . =( lolz I'm tempted.

Ya then we walked ard Popular..After that we went home. It was fun yup. I dont get much opportunities to spend time outside with my sister.

YEAH tmr I can go for service tmr! Its the message on The Wife lolz. Thank God I can go tmr evening. Mdm Lim decided not to keep us back until 6 or 7. And the good thing is, Gab agreed to come too. With Cailing =.= lolz. Maybe Dehua and Samuel going la but I'm not sure..I cant find out cuz I left my phone in school haiz. How careless can I get.

My mom bought this Chip soft toy lolz..And its so cute can. Its sprawled on its stomach sleeping. I think its something like the dog that Sheng and Shumei saw at East Coast. Lolz its a good stress reliever. Once you look at it, whatever anger or frustration you had would be gone. I would take a pic of it and let you guys see but my phone isnt with me right now..lolz.

She took up sign language too, last time..She has a book that can help me. Well I cant wait for service tmr haha ~~ its gonna be great..


Oh, and another thing that is quite significant today. I've gotten my Chinese O Level results. I think ex-classmates like Belle can predict my grade. I get a sinking feeling everytime Chinese results come out. And with grades, I dont wonder why.

thursday - 10/8/06

// feeling :: distressed
// prayer for :: Aaron's illness


This is kind of a personal entry that I just need to express my current thoughts and feelings.

I dont know why, but I went into Bryan's webpage..And I could picture his life. I guess its going great for him right now..But I cant help but think..Has he already forgotten me.

I know its a stupid thing right now to wonder about these things, especially when I've already made a public decision to obey and just let him go.

I cant confirm 100% that I'm over him. I've stopped thinking about him and started thinking about God. But somehow there's an empty space inside of me thats waiting to be filled up by a special someone. Perhaps right now the reason I'm feeling this way is because everywhere I go, I see couples together. And its kind of hard for me..

Not like I'm desperate for someone..Ah what am I talking about.. *sigh*

I just miss having a purpose in life.

Is he happier without me as a friend? I need Jesus more than ever now.

thursday - 10/8/06

// feeling :: tired; great
// prayer for :: Saturday's CHC service

*Groan* I'm feeling exhausted. Well, lets start off. Get prepared for a long entry =x

So..We decided to go to East Coast first, since Shumei wanted to cycle before the BBQ...So ya. We cycled for 2 hrs..Dun get me started on this girl whom Shumei accidentally banged down. *sheesh*

Anyway, we met the rest of W271 and W229 at Pit 28. The friends I'd brought were: Shumei, Aaron, Yisheng, Gab and Cailing. First was this quite fun icebreaker game. We had to go ard takin down as many names and birthdays as possible in three mins. Lolz..

Ya after that Shumei, Cailing and Gab had to go =.= but thank God Aaron and Yisheng could stay...Although I spent most of my time hangin ard the BBQ pit with Joel and Belle and others..Cuz Yisheng spent all of his time playing soccer. Also dun get me started on soccer >.<

Yup..Then Ken and I sent Aaron to the busstop..From the busstop we ran back hahaha..We were afraid that by the time we got back -if we walked, that is- the food would've been gone. But it was gone anyway..No matter how fast we ran. But I managed to eat two satays..They were superb! *Compliments to Chef J. Kwa*

It was gettin late, so Mike took Sheng and I to the busstop. Belle and Meiling were walkin in front of us and I was juz talkin to Sheng and Mike. haha we missed the first 16 ! Cuz I wasnt looking at the road and Sheng tot that Belle was waving at him when she was actually pointing to the bus.. Lolz but nvm la the next one came pretty fast. We got to Tiong in 35mins?

Zzzz..I cant believe Aaron isnt home yet. He left so much earlier than us but he's still on the road! Sigh. He too klike, 2 hours to get home..Duno why so long. We were so worried that his aunt would scold him really badly because he's stayin over there right now. But praise the Lord; she didnt even scold him and just told him to drink some herbal tea [although I think he would have preferred the scolding].

Today was great la. I had fun. Although I didnt really do much, I had time to just be with my friends as well as my cell..I thank God for this opportunity He gave for us to bond even closer as brothers and sisters in Christ.

I was reading the book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Faith in the bus on the way to East Coast, and I was thinking about Belle's earlier entry. I was discussin it with Aaron..Actually ya, God wun ask or even take your life away. But I was talking about someone else..Its another scenario..I wasnt referrin to us when I talked about the "are you ready to meet Me" thing..

Its getting late..I think I'd better hit the sack soon.

Another thing, today is Belle and Mike's 4th month. Congratulations!. Today is also Sheng's and I 6 months! lolz. Although its not real la its juz MapleStory marriage.. but still, 6 months is a long time haha =P

wednesday - 9/8/06

// feeling :: GREAT!
// prayer for :: tmr's BBQ

Yeah! Shumei just confirmed with me that she can come tomorrow for the BBQ at East Coast. Of course, we would be cycling too =) haha I love cycling!

Anyway, Lamb wanted to pass me some notes of sign language so we decided to meet for lunch. Well first we walked to SKS bookstore at a warehouse, the old location of Lamb's church before he came to CHC. Ya it was really cool. So many books and journals and Bibles and CDs and posters and accessories...lolz.

Ya then we took the bus to Bugis Junction, where we had lunch at Sakae Sushi cuz Dejin was workin there. LOLZ he looked so weird with his uniform! We would see him shuttling from table to table.

Ya after a very long lunch, we walked ard Bugis. Lamb saw this Chip and Dale handphone screen thing that is sooooo cute!! Ar...I wanted to get it but ya..no more vit M. I asked my mom just now and she agreed to get it for me wahahaha..But tmr no time to get haiz..Gotta meet early to go to East Coast for BBQ.

We window-shopped and stuff..Took neoprint too!!haha too bad the scanner isnt connected to this computer or I could've put it here..

It was fun. Time flew by instantly. After that we walked to Suntec and from Suntec took a bus home. He went to my place cuz I was having problems watching CHC live services so he came and took a look at the computer. He showed me how to deal with it and transferred the songs from his new Don Moen album into this computer. Cool ~

He taught me more sign language too. Fun lar, but hard to rmb haha..Yeap thats abt it..Watched the NDP and here I am.

I was talking to Lamb about some stuff online..Confiding in him about a friend's friend. Yeah he taught me how to deal with it and after that he said something that pulled a string in my heart.

He said that when we wanna meet God in heaven, God will ask us.. "are you ready to meet Me?"

Even as I am sitting here..I duno how many sins I've committed in this day. Probably a few that I dont even know of. But all the same, we have this strong conviction that God will loves us. I think that is pretty amazing.

I kept thinking about God these few days. I duno why, but I missed Him. Ironic, right? How can you miss someone who's right there beside you?

I duno what I'm talking about..Maybe I need to organize my thoughts first before I talk about it.. Well, thats all for today =) pray for tmr's BBQ..That everything will go well and everyone will have great fun

Tuesday - 8/8/06

// feeling :: a little tired
// prayer for :: Gab's sore throat; Thursday's BBQ

Yeah Baby once I recover, Lamb is treatin me to KFC!

Lolz..So long nvr eat KFC alr..Sigh. My fave fast food ='(

I duno why but we were let off early today from art..I think its because tmr's National Day and she didnt want to stay that late either. I'm progressing with my work but if its good progress, its too early to say.

Kept sleeping in art. Those 20-30 min naps. Gab was so tired tt she lay with her head inside her bowl lolz! I should've taken a pic of tt =.= Beats me how come everyone's so tired today.

I'm stumped for words. Guess I'll end here. Maybe I'll update again later. Tah ~

monday - 7/8/06

// feeling :: a bit better
// prayer for :: tmr's NDP celebration

Hey all..I had art today but came back early.


Yeah well...Lolz Belle sent me all the photos we took tgt or wad. Very nice!! I especially love this one -->
because Belle juz looks so happy. The pic isnt tt clear tho =.= but I love it lolz. Its my display pic in msn and wallpaper for my desktop lolz..

Well..I spent the whole of art figuring how I can make it for W271 BBQ and church service on Saturday.

I've started reading that Faith book and guess wad..I dun regret buying it at all..Its really interesting and I'm learning a lot from it. Great book ~

Oh yes..I've spent time thinking about Lamb too. I love his sign language..And I love it when he juz prepares himself for God and when he really gets into the moment. I'm going to ask him to teach me sign language..but since we split into different cell groups, its hard for us to communicate or meet sometimes..but I'm praying for this friendship lar..Its still young lolz..

I'm learning to accept my situation. I'm getting accustomed to not talking but one thing I'm afraid of is that..If I get too used to it, I'll keep remaining silent even though I've healed. Lolz but lets just pray that wont happen..

Special thanks to Belle, Mike and Lamb for taking care of me and thank you for your prayers..They are priceless.

6/8/06

// feeling :: still a little irritated
// prayer for :: Tuesday's NDP celebration at FMSS

Well, I went for CHC's 17th anniversary with Gab and Daniel. It was really fun but I hate the fact tt I cant be responsive and tt I cant sing. But on the whole it was really great. Although Gab left early for FCBC service and Daniel seemed indifferent.

After service wanted to go with Belle, Mike and Lamb go eat, but Lamb got his cell grp and Maggie, Weikeong, Alissa came along and they agreed on eating at Cineleisure foodcourt and since we were at Wheelock, I decided to leave them and go to Border's to look for a new Bible ^_^v

I spent a long time looking..And when I found one that was satisfactory, it was alr quite late. I got another book too: The complete idiot's guide to FAITH.

I'm so battered in my faith lately thanks to my throat. Belle prayed for me before we went into the stadium, and I asked her to pray for me again before service started. She hugged me tight and prayed for me until P&W started. These few days, I'm really thankful for her. I duno what my spiritual life would be like if I didnt have such a sister.

I juz came back from the doctor's. He said I had laryngitis =.= because I didnt recover fully from my "sickness" n the germs attacked my throat as a result. I do hope the medicine he gives me will help me recover fast. My english oral is coming up and I duno what I'd do if I cant take it.

I used to think laryngitis is only found in comic books lolz.. I duno if I should be thankful I got to experience this or what.

I gotta admit, my fuse was short since I lost my voice. I got so irritated with myself that I juz complained and complained in my mind and to others as well.

I want to really thank Belle for her patience and her care towards me. She prayed for me, she put up with my temper, she took care of me..And when I said I wanted to be alone, she didnt believe me. Yeah, no one wants to be alone..And I for one, hates loneliness. I juz wanted someone there with me to understand my predicament and juz be there physically with me. But I rejected her..I alr spoilt her mood for FOP. I wonder how she's doing now..

I wish I could regain my voice and go for FOP. Tonight's the last night; it would be the best of the three. Argh!!!

I saw Lamb doing sign language in service during P&W. I stopped clapping my hands and just stood there watching him. Its such a beautiful thing.. I wanted to ask him to teach me a little so I could communicate with the rest after service, but he was gonna be with his cell..

Just now, after I parted from her at Orchard, she msg-ed me saying that when she saw my frustration and saw me cry, she juz wanted to cry with me. She understands me la..Like a true sister. And that made me realise that if Belle, with whom I was separated from for almost 2 years, can comprehend my feelings, what more . . . would God understand?

He knows my feelings and my thoughts. So far if this is a test of my patience and faith, like Belle said, I failed with zero marks.

I hope that Belle doesnt think that I've not recovered because her prayer wasnt powerful enough. It was powerful. What was lacking was my belief. I didnt believe He would heal me. My impression of God changed..I thought that if He loved me enough, He would heal me the moment I ask Him.

Look at me now..I'm turning my back on Him just because He didnt give me what I want. What a spoiled brat..What an insolent child.

Looks like..I need to do some soul-searching tonight. I need my faith back. I dont want it back, I need it back. I cant fall from Him anymore.


List of things I'm going to do when I fully recover:
`eat KFC
`drink ice milo
`drink cold Green Tea
`sing my heart out during P&W
`say a huge thank you to Belle!
`go Old Chang Kee
`go SweetTalk!
`hehe and lastly, thank my Lord Jesus Christ =)

5/8/06

// feeling :: irritated & happy
// prayer for :: tmr's anniversary service, tmr's FOP, Sis Cat's health

I'm pretty irritated with myself right now.

I felt like a TV show: Living a day in the life of a . . . *fill in the blanks* mute.

Why in the world am I such a weakling? First, I had a fever. When the fever went down, I had a very headache. After it subsided, I got a tremendously bad sore throat. Then I had a cough during FOP. The next day, which is today, I lost my voice. And right now I cant even talk.

Seriously, is losing your voice fun? Because when I talked to my beloved sister, she juz made fun of the way I spoke everytime I finished a sentence. Is it that funny to make fun when other people are suffering, and you dun even bother to do anything to help me?

How am I expected to sing praise and worship tomorrow? First time at FOP, first time at church anniversary, and this has to happen. I'm really super irritated.

Its not much fun talking to people knowing that they cant understand you. Thats why I thank Belle and Lamb for being patient with me.

Daniel accepted our invitation to come tomorrow, which I think is a reason for thanksgiving. I look forward to seeing him tmr.

I'm not "allowed" to go for service next Saturday, which is one session of the marriage series. Mdm Lim said we gotta stay back till 5-6pm. I duno how am I going to explain to Sis Cat abt this in my current situation. Am I really doing the right thing right now?

Stop making fun of my voice. I'm upset enough as it is.

friday - 4/8/06

// feeling :: like a warrior! lolz
// prayer for :: tmr's fop, tmr's meeting

Wellz, today we went for FOP. But first we went to my place at Dover to have a little discussion la abt what we were gonna do n all tt. Met Gab, Cai, Jong and Meijuan at Dhoby Ghaut station. Was so glad that they could come!

Lolz Belle tot the City Christian band was Hillsong..Made me go hysterical when she said Hillsong was comin up next..She blur la lolz.

Actually, I'm not here to talk about these things.. I juz wanna share a few things la. In the course of this week, I was sick [again] and it was hard going for me because I have a bad habit of not praying when I'm not feeling well. I was so on fire in the few days after church service last week. You know, started speaking tongues when I had the time in school, started listening to Christian music only..That sort of thing.

But today..As the few that came together this afternoon worshipped the Lord, I felt distant from them and from Him. I felt as if He's in heaven, and I'm on earth; like we could never co-exist. Its the feeling as if God has left you. And that feeling is terrible.

It encased me throughout today. My sore throat wasnt going away, I started coughing in service and during P&W [with thanks to Belle cuz she thumped me on the back to make me feel better], and I juz didnt have the energy to jump for long.

I was was sluggishly clapping my hands; looking ard the hall. How come everyone can praise so fine, and how come mine seems as if its half-hearted.

If you noticed, I used the word seemed. Because it isnt. It was genuine. I never felt so attacked by the devil before. Where is my fire..

Daniel was right. True faith will be tested. I'm beyond my limits..I duno how am I going to make myself feel better because my nose is all blocked and I cant smell or taste anything. I cant even breathe properly.

THIS IS SO ANNOYING. Am I really tested or is the devil juz playing with me??

friday - 4/8/06

// feeling :: excited
// prayer for :: tonight's FOP, Sheng and Aaron to come tmr

Blarh..I'm so full ~ lolz..Later got small CGM.. Which reminds me..I better call Sis Cat first..

*No answer*

Hmmz..I gotta chiong dere alr..I'm nt dressed yet..And meeting starts at 3. Its 2 nw lolz. Fantastic. Gotta get ready to run haha.

Hmmz. Gaby trying to get her friend Jong to go later hahaha. She's havin a hard time lolz.

Great, now I have a stomachache. I juz hope everything goes well later.

Lamb, Mike, Belle, go with me to Borders!

thursday - 3/8/06

// feeling :: tired
// prayer for :: tmr's Founder's Day, FOP, Gab's headache to go away

Today, there was a little meeting for W271 members only but only 3 turned up, or 5, if you wanna count in Michelle Mok and Samuel. Well, Sis Cat just shared with us about what's gonna happen tomorrow at FOP. She was planning to have like, something to distinguish us from the rest of the crowd. Like a bandana or a temp tattoo or something.

Then Simon and I chiong-ed to Fairfield cuz of the Thanksgiving-cum-Graduation Service. I got my prize lolz its a cert with a $40 Borders voulcher! Oh yeah baby, now I can get my new Bible!! God is awesome =) He knew I was secretly wishing I had enough money to get a new Bible, n He delivered lolz..But do Borders sell Bibles =/ I wanted to buy the Mark Harris album at first..But then I thought..Why should I..The only reason I like him is because Bryan likes him..

Hmmz yup so ermz..The service was fine. A little boring tho..A graduate student of 2005 was seated next to me, and she kept turnin behind to talk to her friends. So annoying!!

I wanna share something I learnt with you guys. Well, the Guest-of-Honor, Mrs Diana Chee was giving a little speech. She said smth that struck me. Once, one of her students asked her, "What if everything in the Bible is false?" Mrs Chee said, "Then I would have nothing to lose."

But she shot this statement back at the skeptical student, "But what if everything in the Bible is real? Then you have everything to lose".

How true it is.

YAY TOMORROW FOP!! YEAH BABY!

Jesus, Jesus. Holy and anointed One. Jesus.

Your name is like honey on my lips. Your spirit like water to my soul. Your Word is a lamp unto my feet. Jesus, I love You. I love You.

3/8/06

// feeling :: a bit afraid
// prayer for :: tmr's Founder's Day Celebration

Just a few minutes ago, my neighbour came up to my unit n told my grandma and I that he noticed a guy lurking ard the 19th floor. Whats creepy is that he normally stays at the end corridor, and looks into Gab's and my room, taking pictures of goodness knows what.

I think that guy's some sort of a pervert or something. I duno how come I didnt realise it because its been going on for a few days ard midnight. Man its so creepy to know that some weird guy has been looking into your window at night, takin pics of who knows what.

As I'm lying on my bed and typing this entry, I have perfect view of the corridor of which he stands at..The description is that he is a bit plump with specs on. Brrr. Muz be some kind of lunactic, God help him.

Anyway, I decided to stay home today since I have 2 days covered. Later will be going to my Dover hse cuz got some sort of meeting dere for cell members. And after that, Alvin, Weikeong, Simon and I would be going for tonight's event..I dun even know whats it for, since Founder's Day is tomorrow.

Sigh so bored. I think I'll juz lie ard..waitin for someone to msg/call me when they're ready to go over to my place. Zzzz..

wednesday - 2/8/06

// feeling :: uplifted
// prayer for :: A to understand God

I started this entry basically because I wanna thank Mike for once again reinforcing my faith in Christ.

In his blog, he said that the verse 1 Peter 10:12-13 would do me good. Here's the verse: Beloved, do not find it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.

At first I totally didnt understand. Then I asked Mike to explain it to me. I understood totally after that.

I confided in him a lot just now. In just a few minutes, he erased all my doubts. Can become my helpline whenever I have a spiritual crisis. 100% guarantee to satisfy..

I asked him a lot about A. I was totally troubled by him.. Really wanting to help him but at the same time clueless of where to start and how to start. He explained why A is acting like that, and how I can start helping him. A, God is waiting for you to come home, so that He can bless you in abundance. But that is if you are willing to accept Him.

When I'm right with God, the whole world will fall into place. I used to talk to God until I fall asleep, and wake up uneasy and guilty the next morning. I used to think that it was wrong and rude to God, but when I told Mike this, he said that God isnt that kind to get mad over these things. He gave the analogy of a child lying on the lap of his father..that as the father listens to his child talking, he doesnt mind if the child falls asleep. Cuz he wants us to rest. Same with God. He wants us to find rest in Him..Just like a loving father.

I understood God a whole lot better thanks to Mike. It helped me grow a lot closer to Him. I do love Him very much..

Again, thanks to all everyone who have spurred me on spiritually in so many ways..Belle, Mike, Lamb, Joel, Aaron, my parents..I thank God for u all.


And the only time I ever saw Him run, was when He ran to me; He took me in His arms, held my head to His chest and said, "My son's come home again". Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes. With forgiveness in His voice, "Son, do you know I still love you?"

He ran to me. Then I ran to Him.

wednesday - 2/8/06

// feeling :: bored
// prayer for :: Meiling's op yesterday

Well..Today..I've gotten 2 days MC from sch. I duno y I'm so prone to sickness nowadays. So annoying; wanna go back to sch also cannot. Mdm Lim's gonna kill me la..I've missed 2 sessions of art alr..Nt like its my fault =.= I didnt plan to get sick n I certainly didnt plan to pon sch cuz there's art.

Anyway this morning my mom came to talk to me before going for work. She said that its because I'm a new christian..Thats y the devil will come n taunt me or smth liddat. She also said something about me being a babe christian and still needing milk or smth liddat [the people who went for discipleship would understand]. But smth she said struck me. And it encouraged me in my faith.

She said that there is a God who is bigger than this universe..Bigger than the devil. And I needn't have anything to worry about because that God is my God, and He is for me.. When my God is for me, who can be against me?


Yesterday I had the Founder's Day rehearsal. It was so boring and the worst part is, I saw everything that was gonna be performed on Thursday night =.= No element of surprise anymore!

I can finally survive through my allowance only because I've got MC for today and tmr, and Friday's Founder's Day [starts at 10, ends at 12].

My mom asked me to go for this service at Faith. The speaker was Richard Blackaby. I was thinking . . . Blackaby, Blackaby, where did I hear that from? Then I realised that his father, Henry Blackaby, is the author of the book The Man God Uses that Lamb lent me! Lolz. Lamb u wanna go hear him speak? Lolz u let me know and I'll go with u hahahaa.

Ar..Okie..I go liaos. I wanna watch movie lolz..